Are. You. Kidding. Me.

So, I am going to admit right now that I am on a couple of online dating sites. Am I somewhat ashamed of this? Yes. Have I met some really great people, even dated a couple, and made some really great friends? Yes...and for that I am not ashamed!

Anyway, I get a message from a guy today on one of these said websites and it says the following:

"Hi Hottie! Wanna come hang out with me in Council Bluffs this weekend?"

Now would be a GREAT time to mention that his picture is the size of a desktop icon and is with some girl who is probably an ex or even his current girlfriend and it looks like he just picked up the camera out of a trash can because it is the blurriest picture I have ever seen in my whole life.

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

So, of course, here is my response:

"Well, while the offer is tempting because of your fabulously blurring picture containing a woman that appears to either be a sister you are too close to or a former (who knows, maybe current) girlfriend, I am gonna haveto pass.Thanks for the offer."

You think you would get the whole, "I am a bitch and I don't want to talk to you therefore I am not interested" vibe from that, right? Well, not this winner. He replies with:

"Okay now get this...that is my best friend and we were hanging out after I got back from the carnival...she is only a friend and nothing more...you are so hott that I would be lucky to have a hot babe like you to love and hold in my arms. I'm a sweet and loving caring and sincere and honest romantic guy...too."

(There have been minor adjustments to this as I cannot stand it when people do not capitalize the "I" when referring to themselves...grammar from 3rd grade, people!)

Are. You. Kidding. Me.

This is why I hate dating: either you get guys that are complete jerks OR you get the crazy, clingy, desperate ones.

I give you one guess which category this homie falls into.